Journey with Della

With People Magazine naming Sandra Bullock as the World’s most beautiful woman for 2015 and the recent trend of teenage girls getting hurt trying to get fuller lips through the #KylieJennerChallenge a few things are running through my mind. It is easy to criticize the teenagers for going that far but if you have ever been one, then you must understand the crisis of identity and self-image that adolescents face. And with the changes taking place in their physical bodies, many youth are hard pressed by forces that could be both life defining and life threatening.

Even more frustrating is the fact that a group of scientists in Europe undertook to map a physical profile of the world’s most beautiful men and women and released results that reinforce the typical Eurocentric beauty stereotypes we are all too familiar with. Not only do I not get why Samsung decided that this study was necessary to precede the release of their new Galaxy S6 but am bumped that the views of 100 Europeans are all it took for these scientists to construct an archetype for THE WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL MEN AND WOMEN. What a shame!

What is even more shameful is the fact that these “scientifically determined” telltale signs of universal beauty eventually determine the futures of some while sealing the fate of others. So forgive me if I am not enthused by such audacity and couldn’t care less about this disrespect for the uniqueness of each individual. The way I see it, no one has the right to make generalizations about issues sensitive enough to push the vulnerable youth to lengths that could be fatal. 

As one who works with adolescents, teenagers and young adults, I have seen, first hand, what a poor self-image can do to the fragile and it is not pretty. As a result of that I not only challenge such reports, I call for an end to them. For what it’s worth, we all are beautiful in our own unique ways and I long for the day when media messages reflecting this truth would reverse the trend we are currently seeing. I know that lives will be saved and changed forever when that day comes. Beautiful has already been defined – you are it, I am it, we all are it!

So I applaud Sandra Bullock for being unconventional in her redefinition of beauty. To use her own words;

“REAL BEAUTY IS QUIET… it’s just so hard not to say, ‘Oh, I need to look like that.’ No, be a good person, be good mom, do a good job with the lunch, let someone cut in front of you who looks like they’re in a bigger hurry. THE PEOPLE I FIND MOST BEAUTIFUL ARE THE ONES WHO AREN’T TRYING” (emphasis mine)

And to the young people who are trying desperately to be or look a certain way in order to be complimented as beautiful, hear me loud and clear;