A couple of mornings ago, I was making fluffy pancakes for my mom’s breakfast. It was nothing out of the ordinary—just another quiet start to the day. But as I flipped the pancakes onto her plate, I felt it. A wave of grief. These were my dad’s favorite. And suddenly, I wasn’t just making breakfast. I was remembering.
It’s been over three years since he passed. Most days, I carry that loss with a quiet steadiness. But every now and then, something cracks open, and the grief spills out. And just like that, I’m forced to slow down—not by choice, but by circumstance.
So far in this slow-cooked journey of personal growth, we have talked about the importance of persistence, vision, and passion for the highest. But what about the moments when life itself pulls the brakes? When grief, setbacks, or unexpected hardships demand that we stop?
Growth in the Pauses
Personal development isn’t just about pressing forward; sometimes, it’s about pausing long enough to let life shape us. We don’t get to choose when hard moments hit, but we do get to choose how we respond. The slowest seasons of our lives are often the ones that refine us the most.
When grief resurfaced over those pancakes, I had two options:
1. Ignore it. Push through, distract myself, and act like everything was fine.
2. Make space for it. Acknowledge the moment, sit with it, and let it do its quiet work in me.
I chose the latter. Not because it was easy, but because I’ve learned that rushing past pain doesn’t make it disappear—it just delays the growth it could bring.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
The Role of Hardship in Slow-Cooked Growth
In Part 2 of this series, we explored passion for the highest—the choice to pursue God’s best even when the journey is slow. But what happens when life itself slows us down? What if setbacks, disappointments, or grief feel like obstacles to our growth?
The truth is, these moments are not interruptions to our development; they are part of the process. They shape us in ways that speed never could. Here’s how:
1. Hardship Reveals What Truly Matters
Grief has a way of stripping life down to its essentials. It forces us to ask: What am I really living for? When we slow down, we gain clarity. We stop running after things that don’t satisfy and begin to focus on what lasts—faith, relationships, purpose.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12
2. Pain Deepens Our Capacity for Love
Real personal growth isn’t just about skill-building or productivity; it’s about becoming someone who reflects the heart of God. And love—real, deep, sacrificial love—is often forged in hardship. The more we allow ourselves to feel, the more we’re able to extend grace, empathy, and patience to others.
“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” – Romans 5:3-4
3. Waiting Strengthens Our Trust in God
There’s something about being forced to slow down that tests and builds our faith. When life doesn’t move at the pace we want, we’re confronted with a question: Do I really trust God’s timing? Choosing to rest in Him—rather than striving to control everything—develops a strength that quick success never could.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalm 27:14
Creating Space for the Unwanted
If personal development is slow-cooked, then hardship is the heat that refines us. But we have to make room for it. We have to be willing to sit with discomfort instead of numbing or rushing past it.
Here are a few ways to do that:
• Pause, don’t power through. It’s tempting to distract yourself when pain surfaces. Instead, take a moment to acknowledge what’s happening internally.
• Let God meet you in the slow moments. Sometimes, our most transformative encounters with Him happen in seasons of waiting.
• Remember that slow is not stagnant. Just because you’re not “achieving” something visible doesn’t mean you’re not growing. Some of the deepest work happens beneath the surface.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10
Slowing Down is Still Moving Forward
That morning, I finished making the pancakes. I sat with my mom. I let the grief settle in without pushing it away. And then, I moved forward—not by ignoring it, but by letting it be part of me.
Maybe you’re in a season where life has slowed you down against your will. Maybe you’re facing a loss, a disappointment, or an unexpected delay. If that’s where you are, I want to remind you: this is not wasted time. This, too, is growth.
Personal development isn’t just about pushing ahead. It’s also about allowing life’s slow moments to work on you in ways fast progress never could.
So, if life has slowed you down lately, maybe it’s not a detour. Maybe it’s exactly where you need to be.
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6
An Invitation to Go Deeper
If this post resonated with you, I invite you to explore my book, where I share more about my journey with grief—the unexpected waves, the slow healing, and the lessons God has taught me along the way.
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, but even in the slowest seasons, God is at work. How has grief or other life situations slowed you down before? You can read more about my struggle with grief here. When you are ready, order your copy here or contact +237 651 621 681 (if you are in Cameroon) and continue this conversation with me.
Journey with Della 