Personal growth isn’t just about reading the right books, setting goals, or having life all figured out. Sometimes, the greatest lessons come from the most unexpected (and even annoying) experiences—if we’re willing to lean in and learn.
A few weeks ago, I had one of those moments. I was on a trip, stuck with a public vehicle driver whose attitude was beyond frustrating. His impatience, reckless driving, and complete disregard for the comfort of his passengers had me on edge. At first, all I wanted to do was sit in my irritation, silently judging him and counting down the minutes until the ride was over.
But then I paused.
What if, instead of letting my frustration consume me, I let the moment teach me? What if, instead of wishing the experience away, I leaned into the discomfort and asked, What can I learn from this?
By the end of the trip, something had shifted. Instead of just being annoyed, I walked away with more patience, wisdom, and self-awareness—simply because I allowed the circumstances to be my instructor.
And that’s the lesson I want to share today: Slow-cooked personal development requires that we cultivate love of learning. It’s about recognizing that every experience—good or bad—has something to teach us if we’re willing to pay attention.
Growth is Hidden in the Everyday
We often think of personal development as something we schedule—reading a book, listening to a podcast, or attending a seminar. But real transformation happens in the in-between moments:
• When you’re stuck in traffic and forced to practice patience.
• When a conversation with a difficult person exposes your need for better communication.
• When failure humbles you and teaches resilience.
When feedback from a supervisor takes you back to the drawing board on something you thought you had completed.
Everyday life is full of lessons, but we miss them when we focus too much on escaping discomfort instead of engaging with it.
Jesus modeled this beautifully. He constantly used ordinary moments—like a fig tree (Mark 11:12-25), a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20), or a simple act of washing feet (John 13:12-17)—to teach deep truths. He saw meaning in everything. If we want to grow, we have to start doing the same.
Choosing a Growth Mindset in Frustrating Moments
It’s one thing to recognize that life is full of lessons. It’s another thing to actually lean in and learn when frustration, discomfort, or disappointment hit. That takes intention.
So how do we shift our mindset? Here are a few practical steps:
1. Pause and Observe
The next time you feel irritation rising (whether it’s a rude driver, a slow internet connection, a strange phenomenon, or a difficult person), pause. Instead of reacting immediately, take a deep breath and observe what’s happening—both in the situation and in yourself. Ask:
• Why is this bothering me so much?
• What emotions are surfacing?
• Is there something deeper that this moment is exposing in me?
Often, our reactions reveal areas where we still need growth.
2. Shift from Frustration to Curiosity
Instead of letting frustration consume you, get curious. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? This question alone can change your entire perspective.
For example, during my recent trip, I realized that my frustration with the driver wasn’t just about his bad attitude—it was exposing my own impatience and my need to control my environment. Once I recognized that, the situation became less about him and more about my growth.
3. Ask, “What is God Teaching Me?”
Every experience—good or bad—is an opportunity for spiritual growth. When you’re in a frustrating moment, take a step back and ask:
• Is God using this to refine my character?
• Is He stretching my patience, humility, or self-control?
• Is there wisdom I can gain from this moment?
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”Sometimes, wisdom costs us comfort. Are we willing to pay the price?
How can this experience draw me deeper in communion with Jesus?
4. Take One Small Action Toward Growth
Learning is great, but true growth happens when we apply what we learn. After identifying the lesson in a frustrating moment, ask:
• What small action can I take to grow from this?
• How can I handle a similar situation better next time?
The lesson from my trip was patience and letting go of control. So, the next time I found myself in an uncomfortable situation, I made a conscious effort to breathe, accept what I couldn’t change, and respond with grace instead of irritation.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was growth. And growth is the goal.
Transforming the Way We See Challenges
When we develop the habit of learning from every experience, our entire approach to life changes. Instead of seeing challenges as obstacles, we start seeing them as opportunities. Instead of avoiding discomfort, we embrace it as part of the growth process.
This is what slow-cooked personal development is all about:
• Seeing the value in every moment.
• Choosing growth over frustration.
• Trusting that God is working in all things—even the annoyances.
A Final Thought: Let Life Be Your Teacher
Growth isn’t something that happens to us—it’s something we choose. And the choice isn’t just made in big, dramatic moments. It’s made in the ordinary, daily frustrations of life.
So the next time you’re faced with an irritating situation, ask yourself: What can I learn from this? It might just be the lesson to take your personal growth to the next level.
What’s one frustrating experience that you experienced recently? What did it teach you?
Journey with Della 