Journey with Della

It is 12:52am at the Future Africa Campus of the University of Pretoria and I find myself tossing and turning on my bed, unable to sleep. It has been a while since my body and my mind were in such dichotomy that sleep was denied me. Physically, I am exhausted. But mentally, I am worked up. Try as I might, I can’t calm my mind long enough to be overtaken by sleep. The barking dog downstairs and the loud couple next door make matters worse.

I have been part of a team of scholars discussing issues related to forced migration in Africa at a conference organized by the Center for Human Rights at the University of Pretoria. My presentation titled Struggling Against All Odds: The Psycho-social Implications of the Anglophone Crisis on Internally Displaced Youths in Cameroon received a lot of acclaim and both days of the conference have been spent discussing the realities in my beloved nation from a practitioner’s point of view.

How I ended up at another academic conference is not as important as the the fact that, right now, I can’t sleep. Listening to colleagues from other parts of the continent present on their versions of a reality which has come to engulf the African continent brought great grief to my spirit. I am again reminded about why academia was not my first choice after I got my degree. Discourses like these leave me with the feeling that I dread the most – helplessness. I am a more hands-on person who does not know how to not do something about what needs to be done. But this one was supposed to be different. It sought to go beyond the rhetoric to practical solutions to the issues plaguing a continent whose future remains as immersed in uncertainty as its past.

Before walking into these meetings, I half suspected that I would find myself here but resolved not to. Presenter after presenter had discussed well articulated articles from some of the guiding principles governing issues of forced migration on the continent. Or should I say principles that are supposed to guide these issues on the continent? At the end of each day, one thing is clear, the AU does not have the capacity to ensure implementation of treaties by the parties which have ratified them. Lack of political will and commitment to domestication by individual states is beyond the reach of this body which supposedly handles issues of governance on the continent!

That is why I am tossing and turning on my bed! Throughout the conference there is one phrase I repeated to myself after practically each presentation – Then What? Besides feeling like a fish out of water amongst international law experts from across the continent, I have carried this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach about why these instruments are so inefficient. More than once, I echoed the sentiments of fellow colleagues about the pointlessness of it all. Why do these instruments even exists if they can’t include sanctions? That is the common frustration in international law, I have been told.

So as I head back home, one thing remains – Cameroon is only going to be able to rise from the ashes which now engulf it to the degree that its government is willing to lead it out. When all is said and done, it really doesn’t matter that Cameroon ratified the Kampala Convention in 2015, a year before this crisis started. Recent happenings related to the ongoing struggle cast dark clouds on the very existence of this country that I so love. Once again, I am furious in my spirit as I watch lives changed forever by human decadence in a crisis that could have been avoided if only we had the right leadership.

If only… I can’t remember how many times I have uttered this short phrase in the last 15 months since returning home from the States. If only…

This time, however, I refuse to let this sink me into another wave of depression about the obvious leadership crisis plaguing mother Africa. Something has to be done. But what? What can be done to fix the leadership issues in Africa? Admittedly, I can’t form a comprehensive answer to this questions tonight. However, it is one question I am prepared to keep asking until the right answer – that which will make a continent-wide difference – is found.

So, yes! there is a point. That is the point. And rather than let the bleakness surrounding this issue put wheels to my heels in the opposite direction, I choose to lean in to the helplessness and keep inching closer until my frustrations ultimately mine the wealth of resources necessary to craft a sustainable solution to these issues.

That is the point! Now that I have put that to words, I am going to sleep but I will wake up. And when I do, I will again devote my mental faculties to the pursuit of this point. I will be a courageous follower. Why? Because sometimes we have to go in circles to draw a straight line and only she who sticks with the most dizzying of them can leave a straight path for others to follow.

Is this your point as well? Let’s talk! Leave me a comment below and let’s do this together.