In every leadership struggle, especially those that have lasted for any considerable period of time, unaware to both parties, there arises a monster from within – the ego.
Slowly, and ever so unnoticed, this monster assumes the role of leader, calling only the shots that massage it best. Usually, it imposes demands on the opponent which are perceived as near impossible to meet. The more elaborate the demands, the mightier the monster feels and the more legitimate its basis for playing the victim.
However, the battle shifts significantly whenever any one of the parties conquers themselves by yielding to the demands of their opponent, even if only partially for the common good. When this happens, the ego monster, fearing that the rug could eventually be pulled out from under “it” completely, either heightens its demands or finds a yet-to-be-met element of previous ones to hold on to.
With there being no compliant opponent to fight, the battle now shifts to an internal one as this monster desperately seeks to regain control. However, it is at this point that the fate of the original battle against the opponent is sealed for good. When the focus shifts from common good to who’s in charge, the ego monster has won, and with that redefined the fight.
Giving in to your opponent is not always a sign of defeat because it is better to conquer yourself than to “win” a thousand battles. After all, the real battles are the invisible, inevitable battles inside each one of us.
Journey with Della 