Journey with Della

If you are new to my blog then you need to know that exactly two years ago today, I lost my dear father. The journey with grief has been challenging but I am making progress. August 13 will always have this loss stamped to it.

But, I like it when life’s experiences give me an opportunity to better grasp something that the Bible has always said.

…as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.

Apostle Paul

The raw reality

Paul made this statement amidst a flurry of what I consider his ministry profile in which he lists the things that he went through in his walk with God for the sake of His glory. As is very often the case, it is easy to think we understand what someone means when we hear them talk. However, nothing ever drives home the deeper meaning of any words quite like life’s experiences.

It is exactly two years now since my daddy went ahead of me to our heavenly home. I am not sure how to put into words what I feel today but it is fair to say I “get” Paul a little better today than I have in my entire 30-year Christian journey.

Sorrowful, yet rejoicing
Grateful, yet with deep longings
Celebrating legacy, yet grieving separation
Honoring life’s impact, yet weeping for its brevity

The blessed paradox

I have come a long way on this journey of grief and looking back at these 24 months, I am thankful for the healing my heart has experienced and the perspective I have gained. The lessons learned will last beyond my years and the wisdom acquired will change more lives than mine. For these and more, I rejoice.

On the flip side of that coin, the vacuum remains. That sobering reality that his voice will no longer be heard; his hand no longer held; his laughter no longer shared; his love no longer enjoyed; his company missed forever.

So now, like the Apostle Paul, I know that joy and sorrow are two intertwined sides of the same coin. In their own unique way, each side adds meaning to the other at the very same time that it invalidates it. Try to understand them apart or separate them at your own peril.

13.8.21 – 13.8.23.

… sorrowful, yet ALWAYS rejoicing.

Rest on, Daddy!

So what?

If you too have lost someone dear to you, I hope you don’t succumb to the pressure to try to make sense. In all the months since grief became a close ally, I have learnt that the most helpful things on this journey often don’t make sense. Give yourself permission to grieve right but never allow grief be the boss.