It was a serene Sunday evening around 6 PM, with the sun casting its last golden rays. I found myself on the staircase leading into the church auditorium, lost in thought and waiting for the speaker to take the stage.
My mind was elsewhere, regretting my early arrival, when suddenly, he appeared before me, smiling—a childhood friend who once pursued me relentlessly, his advances bordering on the obnoxious. Time had passed, and I believed I’d moved beyond those days, having forgiven, if not forgotten.
Yet, as he stood mere meters away that evening, a visceral reaction stirred within me. A wave of disdain washed over my face, an almost instinctual disgust urging me to turn away, to escape his presence.
In that moment, I was torn. Part of me wanted to flee, influenced by the disdain etched on my face. Yet, I remained, partly because of the prying eyes around us, partly because I awaited another, crucial for a pressing work decision.
As I stood there, the intensity of my emotions took me by surprise. Anger, perhaps even rage, bubbled up, and I realized with a jolt: this was resentment. While I had forgiven him for his past actions, a part of me harbored deep-seated resentment.
I’ll keep the details of our interaction private. This reflection isn’t about that encounter, but about the unexpected depths of my own heart. As someone striving to live a Christ-like life, that moment on the staircase confronted me with a stark truth: my heart wasn’t as aligned with forgiveness and love as I had thought.
Today marks a poignant anniversary—two years and four months since my father’s passing. He was a man who encouraged me to search my heart deeply, to practice the forgiveness I’ve received from God. That Sunday revealed a lapse in this journey with one person, but today, I am reminded that life offers endless opportunities for redemption and growth.
So, I will try again. With renewed understanding and humility, I embark on this continuous journey of forgiveness, learning to fully release the past and embrace the grace of second chances.
Journey with Della 