Journey with Della

I saw him take the first few steps towards me as I jogged up towards the roundabout. Oh God please don’t let today be the day that I have to use these dumbbells as a weapon, I prayed silently clutching them so tightly that my knuckles hurt. I tried to distract myself by counting my steps out loud and looking away but there was no dispelling the fact that this 1.7m guy was indeed headed my way.

Ok, breathe. Just breathe, I told myself trying hard not to let the fear that now gripped my feeble heart activate the flight response. Although I could feel the adrenaline rise, I knew that I still didn’t have the physical therapist’s permission to subject the muscles of my left knee to any more exertion than that required to jog lightly. (Wondering about the knee issue, read my post about it here.) We were now barely a few meters away from each other and it was plain as day that I was his target. Countless images of bad guys knocked unconscious by my dumbbells flashed through my mind and I prayed harder still that these tools for a good cardio workout don’t make the transition to weapons of self-defense during my morning run today. Not today, Lord please! I begged in desperation.

Just as I looked up from my desperate efforts to stay calm, he motioned his request for time. Afraid to pull out my phone from my running belt, I motioned back that I did not have a time piece and jogged away. I had barely taken a few steps before my mind rebuked me for being so unfair to an innocent guy who only wanted to know what time it was from the only other person walking around the round about at that time. Should I go back and tell him what time it was? Slowing down in response to my determination to right the wrong I had done him, I turned around but he was not in sight. He had probably jogged away. Oh well! I sighed in relief.

Needless to say I still feel ashamed for being so quick to make assumptions about what turned out to be a very harmless encounter. I wish I could blame this assumption to the terrors that are awakened by the darkness of the wee hours of the morning. However, as I reflect on that experience, I am reminded of the countless other times where my premature assumptions about others have resulted in very ugly encounters. And in all fairness, there have been a few encounters from which I walked away thinking I knew it! That notwithstanding, as leaders, we must overcome the temptation to judge others based only on our pre-conceived assumptions.

Wrong assumptions give birth to unfair expectations which only serve to further complicate already delicate leadership endeavors in the respective places where we wield power. If we would just wait it out, time has a way of cleansing our assumptions. But we must be willing to let them be cleansed for any of that to happen. And when time proves us wrong, we should be humble enough to admit that we were wrong.

Had I not exercised self-control, I could very easily have knocked a good guy unconscious because I assumed wrongly that he was a threat. Unfortunately, I can’t claim the same about my work relationships with team members. Although past experiences have a way of reinforcing our assumptions, effective leadership demands that we take the road less traveled – refuse to let the past dictate how we respond to present situations and give others the benefit of the doubt instead.

I hope I run into that guy again one day. Then I can open up to him about my faulty assumptions from our initial encounter. But because the chances of that ever happening are one in a thousand, I will apply that lesson to all my leadership endeavors. Would you?